"Who Are You Pleasing?"

Warning: As stated last week ,topics will get a little deep on occasion.

( If you want my opinion, read on!)

I think we've all done it before at one point or another & in one way or another.We've wanted to please our parents,children,husband's, boyfriend's or even our friends. After awhile, you may become frustrated that all of this "people pleasing" , doesn't please "YOU".

"Why do so many go to great lengths to please others at their own expense?" Sure, there's nothing wrong with wanting to do nice things for people through our gifts, time and in some cases, money.

However, is there a hidden agenda, a motive? Well, depending on which relationship, determines that. Ponder over this for a moment. Let's say you have a child who loves receiving "gifts", toys, playstation games,etc. Although you may want to give it, but at certain times it may not be feasible for you to do so,....yet , you still go out of your way to get it, in order to keep your child from being upset with you. It's understandable to a degree.

However, children "must" be told no if it simply cannot be done. You want to please the child, and it keeps you feeling "loved" and keeps the "guilt" away from yourself.

There shouldn't be a feeling of guilt for having to say "no". You as the parent have your reasons....and that's all there is to it. You have to recall what a good mom you are, and all of the other things and time you've given. Period!

Most of all, LOVE doesn't come in "things".

(It's nice, but doesn't make up for the love in your heart)

Another aspect would be "boyfriends". I've seen this alot!!! Ladies, STOP trying to gain a man's attention through buying him things in order that he comes around and spend time with you. You're trying to please him through your pockets! Buying him this, and buying him that, treating him here and there , just to seek approval, affection, and have a man.

That's a no-no! Period! You're worth more than that. Give and take is a two way street. Now,if you're a single mom , you just may not have...therefore , you cannot give as much, don't stress! Why? Because any real man with common sense should know this, and would gladly be supportive ,willing to help, nor want anything but your time. And get the point, even if you do have .....you should never "buy" a man. Don't compromise yourself, your values and morals. If you currently don't have any values & morals, then by all means, it's imperative that you get some ASAP.

(That's not to be hurtful....but loving. From one woman to another woman.)

Remember, A selfish man is one you can and should do without!

For the women who have children...

Stop spending your last on a man that's not worth your time or your children's time.!!! He should buy for YOU and YOUR KID(s) as well as spend time with you and your kid(s). That's a real man!

At the same time, you still should be able to discern his overall character.

Some men with money may also have a motive. So ladies, be wise.

**I'm not speaking of wives who may have to support a loving, good husband, temporarily due to unfortunate circumstances.**

Food For Thought: It's ok to be a sweet person....obviously, however, it should never get to a point where it's draining "you" and now you've become bitter towards "others" due to your own kindness. You shouldn't feel pressured into giving more than what's possibly expected.

If you're doing right as a person, a mother, wife, friend,etc...,well, who has the right to demand so much more? You're in control to say no whenever you like.