Parental Alienation

TOOLS OF THE ALIENATOR
* Persistent Unfounded Criticism
* Limiting Contact
* Erasing The Other Parent From Child's Life
* Forcing Rejection
* Creating Fear
* Forcing Choice
* Isolating The Child From Extended Family


( Above information from Dr. Phil)


* Persistent Unfounded Criticism
(Criticism of the other parent. Negative talk. Negative words.)


* Limiting Contact
(Keeping the child from communicating with the other parent via phone, text or email. Also blocking the other parent from communicating with the child, by ignoring texts or phone calls.)


* Erasing The Other Parent From Child's Life
(When one parents acts as if the other parent doesn't exist...therefore not co-parenting, making important decisions alone. Moving the child to another location or even another state.)


* Forcing Rejection
(When one parent forces the child to reject the other parent.
ALSO, when one parent rejects the CHILD in some way- IF- the child doesn't reject the other parent.


* Creating Fear
(When one parent puts fear in the child in some manipulating way. The child becomes fearful in telling the other parent the truth of why he or she is rejecting or mistreating them.


* Forcing Choice
(When one parent forces the child to "go along with"  OR ELSE...forces the child to choose one parent over the other, and if not, the one parent places fear in the child to get his/her way.


* Isolating The Child From Extended Family
(When one parent isolates the child from the other parent's extended family which includes grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins. In other cases, the child can also be isolated from their own brothers and sisters, step parents and step brothers and sisters.

Always thinking of YOU!

COURAGE...

COURAGE...

Deuteronomy 31:6
"Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the LORD your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you."

Matthew 10:26
"Therefore do not fear them, for there is nothing covered that will not be revealed, and hidden that will not be known.

Psalm 56:3-4
When I am afraid, I will put my trust in Thee. In God, whose word I praise, In God I have put my trust; I shall not be afraid. What can [mere] man do to me?

Daily daily inspiration just for you...

Psalm 31:24

Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart,
All you who hope in the Lord.

Proverbs 3:5,6

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart;
and lean not unto thine own understanding.
 In all thy ways acknowledge him,
 and he shall direct thy paths.

Philippians 4:13
I can do all things through Christ,
 who strengthens me.

Isaiah 26:3
Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace,
 whose mind is stayed on thee
 because he trusteth in thee.

Food For Thought

God is really with you always no matter what! 

Never forget that!

New Things!

Hey Ladies,

It's been a long while since I've written in my blog.

So many things have been going on over the last 6 months!

Just to let you know,

Rolemodeltmd will no longer be in existence for mature women

however, there will be a GREAT transition that you'll love!

Rolemodeltmd will still be around, but in a different way.

I'll post again about this new phase in the coming months.

For now, I'll leave you with this...

"Spend time or "more" time with God if needed

& take care of yourself."

Food For Thought

There's only one Him & there's only one you.

Hello

Well the time has come again to say goodbye to this year and welcome in the new year! I don't have an exact list of resolutions, but what I do have are past things that I will NOT take into my new year.

Before I end this post post I want to encourage you to be happy...healthy and wise!  Don't be naiive to the snakes that may be lurking in your backyard, therefore, protect yourself by using the wisdom that you've already earned & learned, & don't make the same mistakes twice. If you've been hurt this past year by someone you've love dearly, look ahead for what God has for YOU! Expect something awesome and thank God for his blessings in advance because surely it's coming. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.Try placing yourself in others shoes before you step on their toes with offense. Be considerate. Grow. Mature.  Follow HIS Commandments!
Stay obedient.  

Keep in mind, others will hurt you, intentionally or  undeliberately. Sad but true. When you find this to be your story, pray for them and keep it moving. If you need to cut others off  or pull back slightly simply because they aren't respecting you, then do so...tactfully. Somehow in the end, it will all work out anyway. Stepping away allows others to finally see the big picture you already saw! "Time & maturity for some is key!"  Don't go into the next year with baggage that you already know will weigh you down. You won't be able to travel far at all...and you'll remain in one spot. If you sit still for a little while, you'll see people for who they really are, whethor it's good or bad.
Learn to speak up.  Do what's right in God's eyes. 

Lastly, enjoy those people who adore you! Spend time with those who lift you up and not pull you down. Enjoy nature, look around at all of the beauty that surrounds you and count your blessings. Be still at times. Laugh and be silly too!   Help someone...be of service to others in need. Cry if you must. Rest your mind and body. Exercise.
Don't allow others to rain on your parade...and learn to say "NO" just because you can.

Above all...pray more & cling to GOD like never before.  

Romans 10:9,10 - ⁹If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. ¹⁰ For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.
Proverbs 3:5;6-  ⁵ Trust in the Lord with all your heart,And lean not on your own understanding;⁶ In all your ways acknowledge Him,And He shall direct^[a] your paths.

Philippians 4:13-¹³ I can do all things through Christ^[a] who strengthens me.

Psalms 4:4;5-⁴ Be angry,^[a] and do not sin;  ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent. Selah ⁵ Offer right sacrifices,    and put your trust in the Lord.

Jeremiah 29:11-11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

I pray for prosperity in your life, and the lives of your loved ones. I pray peace, joy & love for you and your loved ones, I pray for protection over you and your loved ones with many blessings from above...in Jesus name, AMEN! 

Happy New Year's Eve!

Happy Birthday JESUS! 

Merry CHRISTmas!

Romans 10:9,10

Food For Thought

"Do you owe HIM your life?" 

May God Bless You & Your Family!

Have A GREAT Day! 

You stand out from all the rest!

You're honest.

You're loyal.

You're kind.

You're compassionate.

You're trustworthy.

You're gentle.

You're genuine

You're friendly.

You're loving.

Stay THIS Way.

VOTE!

This morning I woke up at 6:00am with a headache. I went back to bed for an hour to attempt to get rid of. I got back up just before 8:00am, with the same headache. However, I didn't allow the rain, nor this headache to keep me from getting out to cast my vote!
I've never missed the opportunity to vote because I know how important it is. I've also stressed this to my sons. During the last election, my first born finally reached the age to vote for his 1st  time and we shared in that history making time together. Today, my second born has reached the age to vote for the 1st time and I was able to share in his experience as well. Ladies,please educate your sons & daughters  of the importance of voting. Help them to prepare ahead of time so that they'll  feel comfortable & honored to have the privilege of this opportunity.

If you haven't voted today...you still have time. Get out & make your vote count!

Husband- OUR SPECIAL DAY!

LOVE Is Wonderful!  MARRIAGE Is Wonderful!

               Today is my 4 year wedding anniversary! WooHoo!

        FOUR Little Tips For A Great Marriage that makes a BIG difference.

                            1.) Listen & Communicate "effectively".

                                  2.) Play & Laugh together & at one another!

3.) Hug & Kiss always! 

                              4.) Have Romantic Dinners at Home often!

***I LOVE YOU HUSBAND!***

10/18/08

It's Time

"It's time to get up from where you are."

John 5:8

"Then Jesus said to him,
"Get up! Pick up your mat and walk"

Food For Thought

"How long are you planning on staying there?"

Season To Season

Hello There Ladies!

I'm so excited about the Autumn Season. It's been a few weeks now, but finally there's a turn in the tempature that feels so good. The leaves are falling, the cool fresh breeze on my face just feels exhilarating!

 That brings me to my next topic. "CHANGE"

What's changing in your life? What new season are you in? 

Ladies, in all of our lives we're supposed to experience,

 learn and grow into a better being of ourselves.

 Take the time to look back over your life,

 and see what you've done  "differently" or "better".

If you're doing the same old thing that doesn't expose you as a "better" person,

 then perhaps you're stuck in another season because
 you really haven't learned anything.

You will never be able to move forward to a better you,
 if you don't purge yourself.

This could be a host of many things ladies. 

 Covering, Masking,Cheating, Running, Pretending, Lying!

As I always say, "It's a HEART matter" 

Carrying your baggage from man to man,

state to state,car to car, 

or place to place won't change a thing!

 Dig deep to uncover what's keeping

you from moving into a healthy season of your life.

Food For Thought

Let Go & Free Yourself.

 A favorite scent of mine! 

Eucalyptus Mint...perfect for any day!

Dry & Slow

Sometimes things aren't moving fast enough! You're in somewhat of a dry place. Things are happening, but they're NOT happening. Sure, the same old routine is going on. Day in and day out, but the things you've been dreaming about is like the very last bit of molasses slowly pouring out of the bottle. And you know that is slow! LoL. You have to ask yourself, "what is going on here?"  I'll give you a few things to think about.

1.)   "Are you wanting something that you're not supposed to have?"

2.)   "Have you prayed over it?" 

3.)   "Have you lost your motivation & now you're in a rut?"

4.)   "Do you have a support system...family and friends who believe with you?"

5.)   "Are you procrastinating and expecting things to fall in it's own place?"

6.)   "Are you angry and bitter?"

7.)   "Do you have "powerful" spiritual sisters in your corner?"

8.)   "Have you taken on too much as wife, mom, sister, daughter and/or, friend

        and now your dreams and goals are on the back  burner?"

9.)   "Do you need a girl's day?"

10.) "Do you need to re-evaluate some things in order to bring NEW clarity to the situation?"

It's obvious that something is going on. The point is that you step back, and take a look. Just because you're in a dry place doesn't mean that things aren't moving as you think they should. God is always working behind the scenes doing something. Whatever it is, you're now of aware of it, so take action one way or another as your spirit guides. (Even if you are to just remain still for the moment.)  

Food For Thought

Sometimes quiet, dry places brings a loud revelation! 

Ladies,

If someone wants to remain bitter because "they" have issues,

there is simply nothing you can do.

There are MANY reasons why people may become angry & bitter,

but let the truth be told, they're seriously justified!

However, a person MUST still get  it under control ,

deal with it, heal and have freedom from that.

 Bitterness is nothing to play around with.

 It steals so much! 

What I find interesting in some cases is that a person

 can be bitter and mad with "you" simply

 because you've moved on, you've grown.

That person doesn't hold your interest anymore.

 In the midst of you growing, they remained the same 

 and here comes part of the conflict.

The bottom line is this,...YOU  grew

Now it's time for them to grow...  IF  they look in the mirror!

Food For Thought

It's not your battle!

So indulge in your peace & joy!

Timing

"Did God tell you to take a HUGE jump,

 or did He tell you to just take one step?"

Food For Thought

There's a reason God doesn't want you to rush things.

So, be patient and stop biting off more than you can chew! 

You'll never be able to swallow such a large portion at once.

It will all come together one step at a time. Trust that. 

Keep in mind that there is a big difference

 between taking a random huge jump,

over a Leap of Faith that's been prayed about.

"Do YOU Use Common Sense?"

Hey Ladies,

As I wrote last night for my men's book, yes, a men's book....some things came to mind like
 "common sense."  And no, I'm not saying men don't use common sense. lol. The subject was completely different, however, since common sense came up in my spirit, I wanted to blog on it because in all honesty, some women fail to use this in "relationships" and just in everyday life issues. 

Having good judgement will usually keep things 
smooth, no matter what it is. If your "perception" is off
most of the time, then your judgement on things will be distorted.
Ask yourself, "why is that?" There is a reason that lack of common
sense leads you to make bad judgement.
Ponder over that today in your own life.

FYI:  The women's book is still a priority.! However, just as "I" think I'm done, my "Holy Spirit" guides me to write some more, and so I obey. We know the Spirit is never to be rushed. God's timing and not my own. So patience is key.

Food For Thought  

Don't underestimate common sense.

If you do, somehow it may cost you.

Free Yourself From Abuse!

Hello Ladies,
I hope all is well in your life and the life of those you love and hold near and dear. I'm at home alone so I decided to take a moment to post a blog.

Today I want to encourage all of you women who are in unhealthy, abusive, toxic relationships to get out of them. And by all means, DO NOT MARRY a man who abuses you in any way on any level. Trust me...if you stay, it will only get worse. Cut it off immediately, and if you're in danger, be wise about how you depart. Why am  I telling you all of this?  Simply because you deserve better. Staying in a bad relationship keeps you in bondage. Having the courage to walk away will give you more power than you ever knew you had. . Life is short. You should be happy living YOUR life.  If you have small kids, protect them. Teach them about the love of God. Give them a foundation to stand on asap. Don't allow anyone to corrupt their "normal & healthy" thinking pattern of right values and morals.  When you free yourself from such foolishness, you'll feel free. God will eventually send a loving man your way. Don't look for him, he'll show up when you least expect him...just as my husband did. Keep in mind, that when you do walk away,your ex may be very angry, vindictive, jealous and mean spirited towards you. Don't allow his poison to keep you in bondage or connected. This is only another reminder of how controlling your ex was and still wants to be.
You have the right to walk away from a person who makes you unhappy due to the abuse. You have a right to be happy. You owe him nothing!!!  All that you can do for a person like that is pray that GOD will deliver him. Pray that God changes that man's heart. YOU CANNOT CHANGE ANYONE...only God can. The last thing that you need to remember... "You are beautiful...don't allow anyone to steal your joy,your peace nor your  happiness.

Food For Thought

Proverbs 6:34

For jealousy is the rage of a man:

therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance. 

(Don't allow the scripture above to put fear in you.

This allows you to be wise & be on guard. )

Hello Blog Followers! I hope all has been well in your life and the lives of your family and friends. I thought today was the perfect day for me to REPOST a BLOG writing that I did back in August 2011.
I wanted to share with you so that you will never be caught off guard , blindsided by the schemes of someone who wants to draw blood from you. For many men, this is their story. I  know what they have gone through when a woman that they're no longer with, simply can't let go so they attack in any way they can to make the father suffer. How do they do it? They use the child as a pawn.
 How do I know this?
"It's my own personal story?" 

Simply put: I walked away from an abusive relationship. That person could no longer abuse me. I met a wonderful man who swept me off my feet. This wonderful man loves all three of my sons. This man pampered me. This wonderful man married me almost 4 years ago.

Problem: My ex had a problem with it from the very start and still does. He's been jealous,spiteful, and still verbally abusive. He has stopped at nothing to attempt to have control in some way.

Resolution: Trust God no matter what! GOD SEES EVERYTHING! So even when it looks all wrong...trust that GOD is doing something behind the scenes. If you're a righteous man or woman and you know that you've been living according to GOD's ways...HE has your back, no matter what. Remember, what the devil meant for harm, GOD will turn it around and work it out for your good.
Keep in mind ,EPHESIANS 6:12 "For we wrestle not against flesh and and blood,but against principalities, against powers,against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.Pray for your enemies. You've come too far to turn back. You are a child of God and will remain a child of God.

"Parental Alienation"

This is a very serious matter. For those of you who aren't aware of it...allow me to explain in simplest terms. Parental Alienation is a "severe" case of brainwashing of a child during a break-up or a divorce. One parent trys to gain all aspects of "control" over the child and/or children. The ultimate goal for the brainwasher is to make you look bad, because in all honesty, you are the "good parent". Not to say that the other parent is "bad". However, the behavior of such things are awful. The parent who is trying to gain control, plots & plans schemes of deception, lies,manipulation and a host of underhandedness. More than likely, this person was an abuser in the relationship/marriage. The objective here is to get what they want & to try and make your life a living hell because you decided that you no longer wanted to remain in an unhealthy relationship or marriage. The brainwasher uses anything & everything to twist the truth, and knows no morals when on his or her personal mission.
There is so much to parental alienation that I won't get into...however I will suggest that you do your research and ALWAYS be the bigger person by not bad mouthing the parent who has taken this negative approach. Parental alienation is a painful experience for the parent who is loving and doing the right thing. In the end, you'll be able to sleep at night knowing that your conscience is clear.
Last but not least, DO NOT take this severe case of brainwashing personal! DO NOT take your frustrations out on your child/children. You will not be able to make a child or children understand adult matters. Just give it to GOD,and keep being the best parent that you know how to be.

Food For Thought

As your child matures,

eventually he or she will see the big picture.